Discuss "Ruinous Love"

David Trammel's picture

G.Kay Bishop shared her submission to the "After Oil" romance anthology with me and has let me post it here on the GW site.

"Ruinous Love"

Unfortunately she said it wasn't accepted for the anthology, too long.

Please take a few minutes and read it, and post any comments or suggestions you have.

The piece is 17,000 words or so--too long by at least 2 or 3K. I thought about cutting it back, but decided that taking out that many words would remove too much of the 'flavor' so I never submitted it for the contest. But I figured some of the folks here might enjoy reading it.

(BTW the name is G.Kay, not Kay sans G. People are always dropping my G. and then I have to pick it up off the floor, remove all the dust bunnies and tack it back on.(:-)

David Trammel's picture

I had the "G" on the desk and I'm blaming the cat for knocking it off and under the filing cabinet.

add photo: 

...hee, hee, hee. Cats are like that, they are.

..what would YOU have done to edit the story down to below 15K words?
Knock off the beginning and ending?
Remove part of the plot?
Cut the long description of how to cope with an infestation of plague germs?
I considered these but decided against them for the sake of the story's savour.
What else might have been done if you were in charge of editing it?

David Trammel's picture

I'm busy the next two, with a new main page post on Eating Well, and a post on my Shaman blog, but I'll look over it this weekend and see what I would have edit out. What was the original word count?

I really need to get off my butt and schedule a day each week that I write fiction. I funded Shawn Kilgore's campaign at the top level of $25 a month which means I could get him to review a short story or so of work a month. I haven't sent him anything yet.

I do have a humorous tale of a Green Wizard, a village and some problems with gas (of the gastronomical order) about half written I should finish and get to him.

Oh, by all means, finsh your own story before thinking about mine and editing problems. I am already grinning at what your story could be about. Capturing methane from a diet heavy on the beans?