Story Circle Discussions

We have moved the discussion of the Story Circle and the Guidelines (and anything else) to this thread.

Hey Cathy and Dtrammel--

Congratulations on getting your stories published in the Archdruid's Anthology! I also admire your generosity --in giving back, by way of this forum.

I took a stab at writing a story for the anthology, but 'ran out of gas' before the deadline. I'm not a professional writer and have never written a story before, but I found the exercise most valuable insofar as inspiring mindfullness of the post peak oil future.

Actually I find it ironic that I left the protagonist in my story sliding backwards down an icy hill with a terrible toothache Smile If you knew me, you'd undertsand how this might actually be a metaphor for my life Smile

But I live inside my head, and spend a lot of time thinking. The older I get the more I find it necessary and therapuetic to share my thoughts-- drain the brain so to speak. The Archdruids Report is the only place I've ever felt comfortable to share my thoughts and ideas.

I don't have a lot of time at my disposal but will offer what I can by way of commenting on submissions.

Here's a link to the story I submitted. If time permits, I may finish this yet!

http://exilefromavarice.blogspot.com/2011/11/my-submission-for-archdruid...

Thanks again!

Sidd

David Trammel's picture

I remember reading that slide down the icy hill, lol.

And I would recommend to all the writers, even thouse who don't think they are very good, post a thread with your story. Let some of us take a look at it, and offer some suggestions. It is quite true that a second set of eyes really helps. Looking too long at it yourself will make you too focused. Often that other reader can see a point that could be empathised or cut out, and will give you afresh take on the story. Usually, it will help you get back to writing it too.

May I say keep writing and keep submitting. Strongly suggest local and regional markets first.

My apologies. After reading DTrammel's story, I jumped in and commented without waiting for approval. Force of habit after reading something with a request for feedback.

After apologizing, I might as well make a request. It'd be helpful for people responding to have some information on the intended audience. Young adult? Average adult? For example, in works intended for audiences of twelve year olds, transitional phrases are usually cut. For adults, transitional material is usually expected.

I also wonder if the people who are writing here would be interested in sharing titles of books on writing they've found helpful. I have a long list that helped form my current style.

Houyhnhnm

David Trammel's picture

Your suggestion for a target audience, if there is one is a good idea.

And I'll see what books or articles I can remember helped me, and post a thread on that subject. After all these years I have one or two I still go back to.

BTW thanks for the comment on my story.

Hello! I'm willing to participate, although I'm not sure what is required. I don't feel able to give useful literary advice to anyone.

The Archdruid did not select any of my stories, but I enjoyed writing them, and have written a few more. They are set about 500-1000 years in the future, in a neo-medieval setting well past any industrial use of oil, when history has moved beyond current attitudes in a politically incorrect direction. There's even some 'magic' in the Irish ones. The point of departure is the assumption that an Israeli nuclear attack on western Europe and the eastern United States, the Samson Option, takes place a few decades ahead of us, followed by Islamic attacks on Europe and Mexican attacks on the US, leading to rather different societies after several centuries of struggle, before the stories begin.

If interested, you may find them at http://ravenfiction.blogspot.co.uk/

Hi, Wilson-

Just like we all have to start somewhere with writing, we all have to start somewhere with critiquing. If you read, you can give feedback. There's no "magic answer" for stories - just information on how the story struck you. For instance, you can say, "I was totally engrossed until this sentence, then suddenly I was aware of the author's voice" or "I got confused between these two characters because their names were similar" or "You started in present tense then switched to past for this section, and I don't see why"... you don't have to have a "fix" in order to give feedback on stories - you're just helping the author to understand how others are reading it.

I remember reading your "Eagle's Eyrie" - I like the way you have built up a coherent world with lots of pieces (that's a lot of work, I know!) Once we get about 4-5 of us, we can start posting stories and comments.. I've mentioned it on The ArchDruid Report now, so we should get more soon.

I read your story, and liked the poem, although I found the socio-economic background a bit confusing.

It would really help to get a couple specifics (likely I will want to write other stories in this setting) - what part of the background confused you? What more did you want/need to see there? I know it's hard to cram a lot of background into a short story, but I know it's important to have enough for the reader to picture it.

On the one hand the family seemed poor, to have little land, and to have to ration food. Yet, on the other, mass produced metal objects still seemed quite common, including a tin can. After fossil fuels I would expect 'manufactures' to literally be made by hand and be scarce and expensive. Horses would also be scarce and expensive, plough teams would probably be hired or owned by a group of richer farmers. Industrial facilities to produce drugs like insulin still seem to be available, so perhaps it is not very far down from peak oil?

How did they get 'there' from 'here'?

The farmers still seem to be growing cash crops, presumably for the nearby city, and perhaps for more distant transport, but there is reference to barter as if money was a strange concept. What is the people's relation to this city? Is this a city state controlling it's countryside? Is there still a central federal government, or is each state or city independent? What is the political situation?

Why are so many people apprenticed to occupations other than farming? In a pre-industrial, and presumably in a post-industrial economy, about 90% of the people will be on the land. Does the family have particular connections? Also, there is no reference to domestic service, yet this was a major employment up to WW1. Poor children, especially girls, seem more likely to have found positions as living-in servants with other families, than as apprentices. Labour remains even when labour-saving devices have disappeared.

Enough time seems to have elapsed for new customs to have developed, and new religious attitudes, and for travel by common people to be rare; but they still seem rich enough for not much to have changed technically, socially and economically.

Is there some sort of village authority? Do the peasants own their own patches of land, or is it owned collectively or by a landlord and re-allocated annually?

Is there some organisation issuing charters to found cities?

It is understandable that these things may not be on the mind of a teenage girl. Perhaps more will be explained in future stories.

(By the way, I have now posted a new story, The Portuguese Connection.)

David Trammel's picture

Just wanted to note, even something as simple as "I like it" can be great feedback, especially for first time writers.

Also a second set of eyes is always helpful to spot simple typos, since a writer will often read the story they "think" they have written, not the one that is actually written.

I am going to try and post a comparison of my original story as it was submitted, and the final form after JMG gave his suggestions for edit. Along with the email exchange we had during the edit process. Hopefully this will give those who haven't had their stories reviewed and idea of the process.

I am also looking forward to everyone's stories...

I like the idea of your posting your story and JMG's edits - that's a great way to show how editors work! And I agree that even saying "I like it" is good feedback for writers (I always love to hear that) but I"m hoping that's not all we get.. or even if the praise is more specific ("I liked the way your main character saw things different from the others" is more helpful than "I like it")... I know it takes a bit more effort, but I hope we will swap effort for effort - I'll be trying to be specific and clear in my feedback.