social disintegration

Hi Folks!

This is Violet from Greer's blogs. I'm not sure if anyone has insight on this sort of issue, but thought it might be worth a go:

For many years I ran with dirty kids with radical leftist beliefs, anarchists, Marxists, gender ideolouges etc. They were the only people who seemed to be able to understand the deep wounds that "the system" left in me. They were the only people who seemed appropriately angry, and so it was simple enough for me to enter into the groupthink.

Around 2013 this group think began to falter; I began to question blind allegiance to certain narratives, and tried to think for myself a bit more, or at least to parrot more diverse sources. This is a process that I'm still engaged with; I have only faint glimmerings of my own thoughts, but can parrot many more viewpoints better than five years ago.

It appears to me that the pervasive screen based technology is making people less friendly, more machine-like and superficial. It feels like a bad sci-fi story. Because of my appearance people put me into a box as "radical transgender," but this box is actually not representative of much besides a certain current I got caught in when I was younger. This too feels like bad sci-fi! So I'm outside of the current zeitgeist (using screens, especially cell phones, is always somewhat painful to me) and then outside of my little insider niche; I vigorously disagree with many of the gender ideology positions that my peers have. Not to say I have anything against trans-people, just I think there are a lot on inconsistencies in the narrative and a lot of people are getting hurt because of sloppy magical thinking.

Together this equals social death. For awhile I was in denial about seemingly losing my friends, and not even being able to relate to them, but increasingly it is appearing more and more that this is what is happening. Now perhaps I've moved into anger or depression. This comes as rather painful to me, since I've been a generous person to my friends, I've given a lot and feel now am left high and dry. It's really quite horrible, regardless of my culpability or personal responsibility; I imagine it feels similar to watching oneself go bankrupt, but with affection and belonging rather than dollars. I've probably lost 75% of my social capital in the past year, and don't have enough to sustain myself over the long term. My heart is "starving." Friends don't return letters or phone calls, for a large fraction I've decided to give up on trying to stay in touch.

I'm really in the dark about what to do; I find myself wanting to move south of the Mason Dixon line where there is more of an emphasis on courtesy, but I literally have nothing to go on besides some tarot card readings and a hunch! This is to say that while I may currently have savings and may be able to get a job, the collapse is already here for me in a real way, at least in terms of social disintigration.

May I ask, are there people here who have experience in this? If so how did you make through to the otherside of losing your friendships? Is there good advice besides keep a clean nose and pray? Kind words welcome!

I've had similar: my politics being realigned due to some personal circumstances lead to me losing pretty much all of my friends in about four months. I still haven't recovered, but the best advice I can give is to focus on the people who do respond. Let the people who can't handle the differences of opinion go on with their lives, while you go on with yours.

One of the other things to keep in mind is that we are wildly out of step with society, and that's okay. Since you post on Greer's blog, I'll encourage you to take a practice I've found useful: remind yourself that you're having the experiences you need to have. SInce I have some past life memories, and can actually say a little bit about why I need to have these experiences, it may be easier for me, but I find it very useful for keeping my sanity.

I wish you the best of luck!

Madam Oh's picture

Oh it is so good to see you over here! I think I will show up here for my "social life" for a while (haven't been around, so busy).

You too feel effects from our little hand-held screens. You describe it as "painful." I have been aware of distinct issues for a couple of decades arising in the presence of digital technology, including immune dysfunction and circulatory issues. JMG has been gracious enough to let me mention my concerns. I avoid harping on it. Most people are just not ready to hear it. The science is extensive and provides clear warnings.

And like you, I have had to watch passively as one person after another is seduced by the piper to go to the "brave new world" with its shiny gadgets and social acceptance, and no longer has the capacity to care about me. I hear tell I've "disappeared"! I do go to a self-declared "Green Wizards" meet-up in Tokyo about once a month and stay active with a second "folk Shinto" group nearby, but if things get too crowded or I am not feeling well to begin with, I have to depart rather soon.

Most people stay connected on-line these days, and most young people do little else socially. But it seems harder and harder to connect meaningfully with people, even via telecommunications. Human beings need physical social contact. We need to talk face-to-face. Way over here in Japan, it is a shame I cannot reach out through the wires (and dang-blasted ubiquitous microwave relay) to give you a hug!

I note that you are very spiritually sensitive too, and JMG notes that it seems to go hand in hand with sensitivity to devices. He avoids screens, except the computer he uses to run his blog, and he said a couple days ago that his conversations on the blog are very important to him.

You have a spiritual life. The tarot cards you consult tell me you are seeking spiritual connection with the divine. Back when I was very lonely in Tokyo (it was a ageist issue) I turned to hiking. Most of the time, I was alone, but I met people constantly who had a lot more in common with me than the average citizen. Furthermore, nature has its way of connecting with you, and you realize you are never really alone. But still, the loneliness was really hard. I had a half a mind to go off to Siberia where people's hearts are warmer. In fact, I know of one Japanese youth who had withdrawn from society, who found life in Siberia therapeutic.

Before I could do that, though, I got lucky and have a nice husband who agrees not to use digital wireless communications. I hope your luck will change similarly--but do stay in touch here! I'll keep looking in each day.

It doesn't surprise me that digital technology is harmful; it is so untested and unparalleled it makes sense that it would have negative effects on health. Also, I accept your digital hug -- thank you so much!

The part about hiking strikes a chord; growing up I was always clibing trees and being outside. I still go out walking frequently but I've been super sleepy lately, and also I am curious about things in books and words online! So I spend less time in the outdoors. That being said, I'm leaning towards returning to farming this season which would probably solve my social problems, provide enough to live on, and keep me outside most of the day!

My sense, for what it's worth, is that the digital technology is just a symptom. The real issue is that the world has gone utterly mad. People would probably be doing equally mad things with different technologies if the internet didn't exist. This isn't to diminish the harmfulness of the technology, but rather to say that it appears to me as a symptom rather than a cause.

Interesting about Siberia -- do you still consider going there, or are you more content in Japan now?

Many thanks for your warm and thoughtful message!

Madam Oh's picture

Unfortunately, being an American in Japan just seems to make me extra suspicious to the authorities. I was leading ecotours, and I might have been able to continue in that capacity, getting the appropriate form of sponsorship. During the last tour I led, however, one of our guides fell ill with tick-borne encephalitis, which was said to be epidemic. The vaccine for that is unavailable in Japan, and in good conscience, I could not take people to areas where there was a signficant risk of contracting it. The dear naive Japanese were freaking me out by insisting on playing with every nice doggy they met.

Farming organically is one of the best things you can do for your health. I hope it will give you the energy to head out hiking again too.

I do agree about the world going mad. Lobaczewski described a "hysteroidal cycle" marked by madness at its peak, as good times seem necessarily to lead to bad times. I wouldn't call the effects of digital technology the cause of all that is going wrong (some do, but it's a long stretch). People vary in their susceptibility, there are all sorts of environmental or societal problems equally able to cause illness (e.g., chemical pollution), and the inability of people to step back and show some humanity to those suffering from the effects has multiple roots (I've identified at least seven, only one of which is physical addiction).

Hi, Violet -

Yes, I remember you from JMG's blog. Thanks for this good post, which speaks to something I have also been noticing recently. It's possible there are at least two issues here: one is the "aging out" of friendship groups as has been mentioned in the wonderful comments, and one is the very definite change in our social interactions, not just that we seem to meet mostly through screens, but also the rapid pace is contributing to an inability to understand other points of view and to tolerate them.

What I see is that people are rushed, and are probably not even aware of how much faster they are going then 10 years ago. You only get a few seconds to decide if the person who is talking to you or posted something online has something worth saying, so we are in "knee-jerk mode" much more than we ever used to be. And I noticed within myself that when life goes faster I am more anxious about the consequences or repercussions of someone else's different point of view. Thus, I am less tolerant, because I do not know if agreeing will lead me down a path that I suddenly don't want to be down, and then there won't be time to scramble and re-discuss the situation. So, even if people meet face-to-face these days, I'm noticing that none of us have the inclination (for lack of time) to really discuss important issues. I'm in my 60s, and every one of my friends is dealing with life situations that have overwhelmed them, and we are lucky if we get a chance to just touch base and not have it be all bad news. So I am also left feeling alone because I have no place to discuss these important issues, and when a friend expresses something that shocks me, because a new life situation has given them a new point of view, I don't really have time to find out what's going on, so I end up feeling alienated. And I do not know how or if we will be able to slow down without crashing first. So in that sense, Violet, it is definitely not just you!

And on the "aging out" – that is a normal part of living but it can be very painful. I have tentatively come to believe that humans were actually made to develop their friendships in their teen years (in the same way that language is better acquired in youth) and for many centuries, those friends wouldn't move any farther than down the street, so you would keep your friends for the rest of your life. It's only been since the Industrial Revolution that people started moving so much, and now we consider moving as easily as changing clothes – but then we wonder why we feel like strangers everywhere. I am an introvert, and therefore mostly solitary, but I have noticed how reassuring it is to be in a small town and see the same clerks and cashiers every week, and to exchange pleasantries.One thing it does for us is lessen the anxiety that "this person might be weird" – we get used to how someone else acts, even if it's not exactly what we would wish, and so we can relax a bit. I think America has something akin to PTSD because we have met so many strangers and are now tense and overwhelmed. This could just be me however.

One thing I would suggest is to possibly look into Carl Jung, whose psychology is aimed at the mid life and older, as few psychologies are. James Hollis is an excellent start; his book "Creating a Life" or "The Middle Passage: from misery to meaning in midlife" are wonderful books that are rich with questions to ponder. Many times we think we have to move physically, but in fact it's our inner life that needs to move. Given how expensive it is, I would just give you the thought that "we bring our demons with us" – when I moved here 10 years ago, I had a sense of that, but I see now that so much of what was the problem in my other relationships followed me because the problem was within my own psyche.

The best of luck to you in your journey!

Madam Oh's picture

Since I don't participate in the modern form of connectedness, I miss out on that perspective. I also agree that small towns have distinct advantages regarding interpersonal relationships. They can be extremely closed as exclusive, as well, and my own little town is quite an example of that, but I have been happier here than in Tokyo.

Thank you, as well, for recommending Carl Jung. I'll keep your recommendation in mind.

Hi Cathy,

Thank you for your thoughtful reply!

The constant business is a very interesting point, Jung notes in The Undiscovered Self how once emotion passes a certain threshhold people begin to act markedly worse. The business does create a certain background anxiety which makes it harder to get to know people. I wonder how much this business and screen use is a displacement activity, one that is done unconsciously to distract from unresolved trauma as well as the worsening economic, political and military situations. People are, under the smiles, have pain and fear in their eyes.

The point about friendships being formed best in adolescences is fascinating as well and I imagine it may very well be true. There is something zoological about the heighened quality of relationships initiated in those years. It seemed to peter out around 20 for me, but I was wandering a lot then so it's hard to tell.

In regards to moving, I need to move one way or the other for a variety of reasons. Currently I'm inclined to returning to farming where I was a few years prior, but it's still up in the air. I agree though, moving won't solve my deeper and more meaningful problems. Sometimes, in my weaker moments, I engage in escapist fantasies with tarot cards and geomancy, and dream of finding somewhere less broken. Almost 2 weeks ago a dream rather forcefully dissuaded me from the tenative travel plans I mentioned here. There's a lot to meditate on!

Carl Jung and his thoughts on the individuation process have held a huge influence on my thinking in the past year although sometimes I struggle with how...scientific he is. The mystical, numinous aspect of his writing are what I find the most interesting in his work and, often, they are what he devotes the least amount of time to! That being said I got a lot out of his Red Book, Alchemical Studies, and more generally, his meditations on myth and symbol. I'll check out James Hollis as time permits.

As Buckaroo Banzai so rightly observed, "No matter where you go, there you are!"

That is, we are all facing The Long Descent, and there's a hella work to be done preparing our communities for the next crumbling step. That's where we can build our social capital. Find something that needs doing and step up!

I admit I blew off the Water Company Buyout meeting on Saturday. We got several inches of snow on Friday, and I wasn't prepared to jump on the bus and go to a meeting... But in the last month, I testified in front of the Illinois Pollution Control Board about allowing a polluting, coal-fired electric plant to change the rules about how emissions are calculated. Been to one of several meetings about a the biggest grocery chain in town closing their stores in the two poorest neighborhoods here. And I have been three or four meetings about doing a community solar project in town. It didn't start out ot be a community solar project: one of the main congregations in our Interfaith Alliance chapter put solar panels on their roof last year, and we decided we wanted to show other local congregations how they could do the same. LOL! That has morphed into actually doing one or two 2MGW community solar projects. And get minority workers signed up for job training to install solar panels! And I am pushing to do all three: sign up local houses of worship to install their own panels and start coaching prospective students so they can pass the entry tests, while we put together a group of investors and find a site for a community project!

I want to tell you, I've been getting a crash course in renewable energy tax credits and RECs--Renewable Investment Credits.

And gearing up for the March Primary elections. And preaching Green Wizardry whenever I can.

But those are just a few of the options I have any given week. We've got people working on storm sewer overflow issues. And transgender issues and healthcare issues and immigrant issues and waste management recycling issues. If I let Facebook manage my calendar, I could attend at least one meeting every night of the week. But this is about making sure my hometown is prepared--to the best of our ability--about what's barrelling down on us.

Hi, Violet,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a painful time. I agree with others here that as the years go by, we grow and change, and while some of that is gratifying or exciting, some of it is very, very painful. I think it can help to realize that it is a normal process, although the feelings around it can feel heightened by all the craziness in our society right now. Keeping your nose clean and praying are great ideas. In my life I have found that praying for a friend is a prayer that has always been answered, and usually surprisingly quickly. I've also found that the friend that comes isn't always the friend that I would have planned for if left to my own devices.

As far as your feelings around moving, perhaps it would be good to ask yourself whether "moving South" has a symbolic meaning to you. In other words, do you have to pack up and go south of the Mason-Dixon Line to "move South" in your life? Perhaps you do. Or perhaps you don't. I say this partly because I have lived in a supposedly idyllic spot, and many people moved there thinking that it would change their angst, but they had the same inner landscape, just in a different outer landscape. This added an extra dose of bitterness--that of disappointed expectations and shock--to their already unhappy lives.

Finally, I am guiltily aware that I offered to get together with you 3 months or more ago. My email was out of commission for several weeks around that time, and then I got caught up in some family stuff. However, we could make arrangements for a meet-up now, if you would like. You can email me at knittingmitty. I have gmail.

I just want to chime in here that first, I'm always interested in and pleased to find your comments on Ecosophia, Violet, and am glad you're here, too. Your thoughtfulness and keen ability to suss out fine details of situations and trends, as well as your obvious caring are characteristics/skills worthy of learning from and I very much appreciate the views you share with us.

Additionally, I thought gkb's response was really powerful and health-promoting. Thank you, both of you.

I have little to offer in the way of advice or suggestions. Being introverted, for the most part, and slow to opine out loud, I might not have noticed this social change if not for recent posts such as those here. I have found, throughout my whole life, that community building is the most difficult thing and put it down to too much moving around and lack of rootedness to place by modern people in general. I struggle, still, in a place I've lived off and on in, for about 16 years - of course the off- part of that reveals us to be poster children for globalization: husband's entry into a job market right before the market tanked in '08 and then the field's subsequent shrinking has forced us separately and together, overseas 3 times in the last 10 years.

Hard to commit to a place or a people when neither commits to you, you know? These are indeed rough times that require some sort of strange self-reliance.

Thank you for the kind words Temporaryreality! I agree wholeheartedly that these times demand a sort of strange self-reliance, a spiritual strength that was not as needed even ten years ago. I have to remind myself frequently that this sort of spiritual strength is precisely what I wish to cultivate! That being said, I don't feel very brave and it's a struggle. The sort of ritual that JMG outlines is enormously helpful.

One thing that is helpful about discussing these trends is that it allows for an acknowledgement of "this is bigger than me!" I worry about the confirmation bias that may creep in to that, but I think it is worth the risks to acknowledge that it isn't my fault. The Protestant current of this culture inclines people towards self-blame which isn't helpful, although self-reflection certainly is. It really is a balance!

"Why We’re Underestimating American Collapse - The Strange New Pathologies of the World’s First Rich Failed State"

You might say, having read some of my recent essays, “Umair! Don’t worry! Everything will be fine! It’s not that bad!” I would look at you politely, and then say gently, “To tell you the truth, I don’t think we’re taking collapse nearly seriously enough.”

Why? When we take a hard look at US collapse, we see a number of social pathologies on the rise. Not just any kind. Not even troubling, worrying, and dangerous ones. But strange and bizarre ones. Unique ones. Singular and gruesomely weird ones I’ve never really seen before, and outside of a dystopia written by Dickens and Orwell, nor have you, and neither has history. They suggest that whatever “numbers” we use to represent decline — shrinking real incomes, inequality, and so on —we are in fact grossly underestimating what pundits call the “human toll”, but which sensible human beings like you and I should simply think of as the overwhelming despair, rage, and anxiety of living in a collapsing society.

Madam Oh's picture

I haven't set foot in America in over five years, so it doesn't resonate so much as it horrifies me. Five years ago, I encountered middle class citizens in my old neighborhood in Denver suddenly destitute and having to beg for money. So sad to see how this collapse is proceeding. It's happening in Japan too, but more hidden. Here, if you get a hint someone is experiencing distress, you have to kind of grab them and help them. I chased down one young man, whom I'd noticed rummaging in a convenience store garbage bin, and gave him half of my lunch. I could see he was really happy to have someone reach out to him. But people are realy ashamed to be seen that way.

Hi Sophie,

I read that on Ecosophia yesterday and it was uncanny how much it resonated. I think this is a situation where I can face the situation with cowardice or bravery but either way I must face the situation to the extent it exists outside of me and is beyond my control.

Very best wishes,


I've been experiencing this with friends as well. My political beliefs have changed massively in the last year, and my friends have gone the other direction. One of my closest female friends says stuff like "I hate white people" and is constantly talking about how dominant white culture is opressing POC, and it really bugs me because I think she is actually being really patronizing to people of color. She seems to think they are helpless and need people like her to look out for them. And pretty much all of my other friends are thinking like that. Also some friends think violence towards white-supremacists is a great idea. My problem with that is basically anyone who isn't agreeing with them 100% gets labeled a white-supremacist.

But I have said absolutely nothing to let them know I am starting to have different ideas because I feel they would reject me. And I still love my friends even if I don't agree with their politics. But I also feel choked by my silence and I know it is doing harm to me and my friendships. Something I just heard Jordan Peterson say, "don't say things that make you feel weak". Or something to that effect. That really hit home because I have felt weak by staying silent. But my concern grows that speaking out is dangerous. Violet, I respect your bravery in speaking out to your friends. I feel sad to hear that they have rejected you, but you have done the right thing.

The other day, I was at dinner with my boyfriend and his old friend visiting from out of town who I had never met before. I think just because he was male, I said something I wouldn't have said in front of my friends. I said, I don't consider myself feminist anymore because I think it's gotten too extremist. The guy got really upset when I said this. He said he was really suprised because it sounded like something someone alt-right would say. He proved my concern about speaking my mind. He didn't get vicious but I know he thinks alt-right=racist=transphobe, etc. He turned out to be a fairly extreme SJW and card carrying communist. I brought up as an example for feminist extremism, the recent issue with men losing jobs for evidenceless accusations for things that aren't even crimes. He felt all men deserved to be punished, even if some are innocent, to make up for women's suffering. This is insane. I'm getting more and more worried about the internet lynch mob. Personally, I think it's time to stay under the radar whenever possible. It's not just happening to big people. I know 4 people who have been publicly accused and harassed unfairly and I've heard about a lot more.

To the topic of cultural collapse, yes, I feel that is definitely happening, and the internet, phones especially, are a major factor, but so is the destruction of the traditional family. I've always had an extremely hard time making eye contact, but have gone to great effort to teach myself to do this. I've been noticing a lot of people (even outgoing ones) are not looking at each other at all when they talk. There was a cultural connectedness that I remember as a kid, and sometimes I still see glimpses of it, but a lot of times I don't see it anymore. People are becoming increasingly alienated, lonely, and miserable.

I've just been visiting Grand Marais, Minnesota and I think it has some of the things you are yearning for. They are living in another dimension that hasn't been ruined by modernity. If you go south, I hope you stay away from the hurricane areas and stay near plentiful fresh water. Staying near family is really important too though.

"He felt all men deserved to be punished, even if some are innocent, to make up for women's suffering. This is insane. I'm getting more and more worried about the internet lynch mob"

I've found my politics shifted quite a bit to the right after I had my life ruined by a real life equivalent: a woman I used to be good friends with got mad at me (I can understand why), and then decided to torch our friendship.

I'm not sure if it was her or one of her friends who decided to start saying I abused her, but it happened, and then the weirdest thing occurred: plenty of people I thought were my friends took her side, regardless of the fact that what she was saying contradicted everything they should've known about me, and a few of the claims were such that I could prove they never happened. A few people refused to even listen to my side before casting judgement, and I got to hear "Women never lie about this sort of thing" more than once. They then proceeded to bully and harass me and anyone they caught hanging out with me. This started back in September 2016 and they still haven't calmed down.

My comments that if they targeted too many men who hadn't done anything it would cause a backlash that would risk much of what they were trying to achieve didn't go over well.

I also predicted Trump would win (based on some comments Clinton made about America already being great. Having relatives in the rust belt, I figured that sort of rhetoric, combined with Trump addressing some real grievences, would cost her the election), and apparently the fact I saw it coming was proof I was a Trump supporter and thus evil incarnate. The fact I wanted him to lose, and spent my time trying to talk to left-leaning people about how to win the election, didn't seem to matter.

In some ways I envy you, since you still have those friends, but in others, it's fairly freeing to have lost them.

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I definitely relate. Sadly, I think often the only way to go is alone. Staying under the radar, I believe, is really the better option much of the time. Honestly it wasn't that brave of me to speak my truth, more I found many of my friends insufferable and tedious and hoped that they'd lay off it. I don't want to be around people who hardor racist genocidal intent. It gets old fast, and I mostly wanted to change the subject, or abandon the relationship. And I did, and haven't seen many people for over a year. That being said, many of my friends were as happy to vent as I was!

Again thanks for your thoughts, Rei. Do you have people in your life who are sympathetic? I found that many, many people only go along with the SJW narrative because it is popular but in secret despise it and want for nothing more than to not feel policed by their friends. A sizeable portion of my friends were this way. They were the people who were pointing out the inconsistencies of the SJW narrative even while mouthing some of the slogans.

I wish you the very best navigating this.


David Trammel's picture

First let me say thanks for being brave enough to share your situation here on the forum. I have noticed your comments on the old ADR, and always thought, "Now there's a person that would be interested in sitting down with for a long chat." So don't get down about outgrowing friends from your past. Its something that happens.

I'm now 60 years old and have lived a long life of being one of those "odd people".

In my case it never had to do with my sexuality but with the fact I'm smart. And that I have that most elusive of traits, "common sense".

I was also very lucky that I grew up in a loving home, with parents who were supportive of a gifted child, and who encouraged me to explore the World. They were happy to pay for things like karate lessons or painting classes, if my exploratations lead down that path. My father worked in the US Space program, so I grew up with the belief that for humans, the sky was literally out there for us.

I also volunteered for 4 years in the US Army at 19 which gave me a whole 'nother skill set. All of that (and more) has given me an incredible amount of self confidence. Not that I am always right, but that no matter the situation, I could handle it.

I also have very little patience with "stupid people". And a sharp tongue at time when said stupid people are being "stupid".

That has left me with a small circle of real friends. A lot of casual aquaintance but few people I truly share the personal Me.

I keep telling myself that I need to make an effort and get out there more. I just recently got onto Facebook, to the amazement of my friend, though I don't much see the point of it. I think what social media does is provide a false narative that if you aren't posting about your Life every 10 minutes, and having a ton of "friends" who follow you, that you are so how lacking in what makes us human.

We forget that the purpose of social media isn't about bettering our lives, its about selling us advertising.

I'm ok with being a person that has a quiet Life. Sometimes its nice to sit in a garden and read a book by yourself, without the pressure of what society expects of you, that is the big backyard barbeque with dozens of people

Don't stress too much if you are out growing the old you. You'll find the new you, I sure.


If you decide to move let us know.

In the mid 90s, I packed up all my belongings and moved from St Louis to Los Angeles, to work in movie special effects. I literally had everything I owned in the back of an old rusty Ford van and for the first month, often sleep in said van. I went on to have a very good carreer there, getting to work on such projects as "Titanic" and "Star Trek". I can offer some suggestions on how to make your move easier.

Hello, Violet, welcome to the Wiz of a Wiz site. You know, social capital can be lost in many ways. Sometimes people age out of a group that sustained them during youth or college years. People start getting married and having babies so the group disintegrates or reforms in a smaller version based on new interests. Likewise with a change of jobs or travel requirements for a job. For someone like you who invests more than thought and time but a whole lot of heart energy as well, such “natural” changes will, of course, feel quite wrenching. It would! When the outer change is due in part to inner change of focus, philosophy or maturation in a direction unsuspected such as magical work or a Great Task emerging from within, it is like being in a kayak facing white water. A person hardly knows where to put the oar in, much less which way to row! A couple of possibilities present themselves to me, intuitively. One: maybe the detachment process is beginning because you are preparing to move? And so, the dizziness of letting go of one’s old place and finding footing in a new place requires whole heart energy before you can zero in on the best place to make your landing? It will be less painful to detach from a place if one’s society is withering down or dormant, just as pruning a tree is better when the sap is withdrawn for the winter. Two: maybe your inner life is putting down deeper roots and preparing for a long-term commitment to a person or a Task. So you are dropping outer leaves and blossoms that require energy to flourish in favor of growing those roots working their way deeper into the dark. Either way: the shock of being transplanted or the grunting effort of preparing to fruit and seed, there is whole system change in store. Your transit charts might give additional guidance if you know a competent astrologer. Good luck! Or, should I say, break a twig!

Thank you gkb!

Your intuitions are dead on; I'm in the middle of my Saturn Return, around the Winter Solstice was about when the Saturns were perfectly conjunct. Whatever it is that is calling me in the small still voice is calling me to move; I don't "want" to move but feel impelled to. Definitely it feels like certain forms are breaking up in my life, and its very helpful to be reminded that this process may be creating a space in my life to be filled with something more true to myself, or more pertinent to my soul.

Again thank you for your perspective, it helps me take a second look at what's going on in my life and consider that there might be more going on than meets the eye.

Very best wishes,


Good, well I thought the symptoms sounded familiar, but not knowing your age or Saturn status, I hesitated to draw a firm conclusion. Glad you have your charts on hand and can do some divination. When these big, sweeping life changes come along, it helps to follow the local ‘whether’ report.